It's a Contrastive Life, My Friend (Genre Reflection #1)

College classrooms; high school students.

Teaching and learning.

Making tests; taking tests.

The assessor; the assessed.

It’s a contrastive life, my friend,

As both student and teacher.

“Ms. Herbert, when is this due?”

“Sarah, do you have your lesson plan?”

“Class, please turn to page…”

“Don’t forget to grade the…”

Semester plan, student teaching autobiography,

Common core standards, conceptual framework.

Writing, performing, reading, learning, meeting, practicing.

Sometimes angry, usually frustrated, and always preparing for something.

Tired. Very tired.

Stressed cannot describe!

Wait, did I grade those papers?

Have I finished my blog post?

No time for sleep: Must. Write. More.

I think I’m finally finished.

Check that off the list.

Where’s my checklist?

Slow down.

Take a breath, I tell myself.

Someday soon, I’ll be through,

No longer both student and teacher;

But always a student

And finally the teacher!

The Tale of an Unconfident Pre-Student Teacher

I try very hard to hide the fact that I am shy.  Unfortunately for me, it’s hard to hide such a thing in the classroom and I often show little confidence when I am teaching.  According to dictionary.com, confidence is “belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities.” I definitely need to get some more of this noun! It turns out, there’s another goal I need to work on this semester – being a more confident teacher.

I noticed my lack of confidence the second of week of pre-student teaching.  Mrs. Bradley asked me to read aloud questions and answers on a test to the class as they graded each other’s papers.  I thought it was no big deal, so I just scanned the test and answer sheet before making my way to the front of the classroom.  As I read, I started listening to myself.  Really listening.  I noticed how nervous I sounded.  I’m not sure if it resulted from my sudden unpreparedness or even my inexperience with the test's material, but for some reason I sounded uncertain when I spoke.  That was the moment I knew I needed to get some confidence. And I needed to get it quickly with my 5 day unit approaching!

Here are some ways I plan to boost my confidence:

1.   This one shouldn’t be too hard: I will start pausing before responding to students.  Often, I find myself guilty of immediately spewing out a response without considering if it makes sense or is even helpful.  After doing this a few times in a lesson, I lose confidence in myself and sort of just give up. If I mentally ask myself, “Is this the best thing I can say?” or, “Does this make sense?” I will sound more assertive and will ensure that I am responding appropriately to the student.

2.   When I plan lessons, I will write out a list of questions that I want to ask students during discussion.  Not only this, but I will also write out ways to respond in order to stimulate HOT (higher order thinking). I hope that by doing this, I will sound more confident in a discussion with my students.

3.   Practice, practice, practice! I am beginning to realize that the more I teach, the more confident I will become.  The best way to work on this is to ask Mrs. Bradley for more experience/opportunities.  Every day when I come to class I will ask her what she needs help with and if I can do anything during class.  Even if it’s just passing out papers or providing instructions prior to a lesson, she nearly always has something for me to do.

Luckily, I am placed with an awesome group of students who have been great to work with so far.  Mrs. Bradley has been an excellent CT too. She understands that I am in a learning position and may not be totally confident in my abilities at this point. When asking me to do something, she always makes sure I am comfortable. I hope when I meet these goals I’ll be running down the hallways proudly declaring my confidence!

*All names (including names of places) are changed to pseudonyms.